The Continuing Adventures of Nocilis of Yppolf

As related to BJ Dooley, returning after a 10 year absence.


Nocilis of Yppolf was invented over 10 years ago in the dawn of personal computing. He achieved some popularity in electronic mail distribution for poking fun at various aspects of our industry. It should be noted that most words of importance are written backwards (Nocilis is Silicon, for example). In some cases, however, acronyms are merely placed in lower case or a combination that sounds like the intended item is used. Or, the intended item may be written outright, according to the whim of the writer.

This is the eighth and next-to-last episode. If you want more, respond soon.

1.8 Caveat Lector

N ow Cupid's arrow strikes far and deep, and no-one is fully immune from its venom. Nocilis, though strongly armored, was not incapable of being affected.

It happened thus: Nocilis was continuing resolutely in one direction, and young Latigid proceeded demurely in the other. Nocilis wandered this way, and she, that. Nocilis proceeded hither, and she, yon. Until, at last, they met.

"Harrumph," said Nocilis, in his most noncommittal tone.

"Shinn?" she responded incomprehensibly.

"Well..," said Nocilis."

"Quite well, thank you," replied Latigid with a curtsy.

"Well, well, indeed." said Nocilis.

"That is good to hear," she replied.

"Foobar" muttered Nocilis.

"Hello world."

Nocilis could sense that they were tuned, as it were. There was a sense of broadband connectivity, with no contention. It was as if the conversation were under control of a shell so finely constituted as to be completely transparent.

Nocilis took Latigid by the hand, and they danced lightly across the broad plains of Eisa and of Scsi, and down through the valley of Lim. At the end of the spin, they found themselves sprawled face to face at the very bottom of the Svga, which is as profoundly deep as suppertime platitude.

Nocilis sung unto her a song that he had composed as they danced:

Oh Latigid, thine eyes,
(I presume those are thine eyes)
Shine so touchingly
Oh Latigid, Oh Latigid
Thou art everything to me.

Oh Latigid, thy nose,
(It seems to be a nose)
Is rather pert and smart
Oh Latigid, Oh Latigid
Thou hast won o'er my heart

Oh Latigid, those things
(Which I can't identify)
Are cute and pink and round
Oh Latigid, Oh Latigid
My Love is quite profound.

Oh Latigid, thy smile
(Or frown, or grin..whatever)
Is so very, very sweet.
Oh Latigid, Oh Latigid
My heart doth skip a beat

Oh Latigid, my love
(Or other strong emotion)
Is tentatively great.
Oh Latigid, Oh Latigid,
What is to be our fate?

"Oh, Nocilis," said Latigid in high, defensive lilt.

"Oh, Latigid," said Nocilis, snuffling bravely at the area around her neck.

Now, it is often the case that the fates are unkind. We generally call this bad luck...but might just as well characterize it as something else. In any case, it is certain that the deeper emotions are only correctly aroused if the object is of the same species. Which, of course, Nocilis and Latigid were not.

Oh, what tragedy might come when the elephant and the seal elope! Rhinoceros and gazelle! Crocodile and budgerigar! Who would write a magazine article supporting this? Who would commit to the affirmative on a television talk show? It is not done. It cannot be. Even with the best of feelings and communications and intentions, as between a man and his dog, it cannot be done.

"Though you are equal in attractiveness to a statement of general field theory, alas, we must part," said Nocilis.

"Nocilis, oh Nocilis, whyfore art thou whatever it is that thou art?"

"It is fate, even as the movement of a compass which points always singularly North." said Nocilis.


"Never mind. Perhaps in some other lifetime there will be a place for such as us. Sometime, somewhere, in pristine areas yet to be discovered; in some remote location of the universe or of the mind."

"Farewell then, dear Nocilis," said Latigid. "Achievement of true compatibility depends upon identity in certain lower order architectural features which, when merely emulated, results in a loss of that clear stream of precise communication which we call truth. And this being also beauty, I could not look upon you the same way again."

"Brave Latigid. It will be ever thus until a universal architecture with truly standardized connectivity options is evolved. Then, perhaps, we can be together once more."

Sorrowfully, then, Nocilis bid his lady adieu and departed, to make his way once again along the great network of interlocking trails which is Retupmoc.

(Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996 by Brian J. Dooley)